Unfortunately we will never understand why someone is chosen to leave our sides physically and enter a place we don't understand. The unknown or something we haven't experienced is the hardest thing to try and comprehend. He didn't leave you and never will. He is a part of all of you, each and every day you will find something that will show you he is still here.
Little things you do, something that you come across, words that you hear, they will all let you know he will always be there for you. Just like when you hear that song, he sang it to you all the time now the meaning has changed but it is still your song from him he's just letting you know he didn't leave you.
He was a lover not a fighter. He was a man filled with passion and his passion and love were all of you, never would I doubt that statement. Joe was a man that lived for his family.
I was going to write about a fishing trip we took with Daddy and I started to but for some reason another memory kept interupting my thoughts so for whatever reason it wants to be known that shall be the one I write here now.
It is Septemeber 7, 1991 the day after I gave birth to Michelle. I had spoken to Mommy and you were going to come up and bring a video camera so I could video tape Michelle.
I am in my hospital room I am scared because Mich was born so early a million things going through my mind. I want to be home with her, yet there is no way for her to leave the hospital. I don't want to go home because I don't want to be far from her. I am confused, lonely, and afraid.
I hear a voice down the hallway and there is no mistake it is Kiwi and I smile for the first time since I was brought into Stony Brook. Seconds later entering my room is Gina, Joe, Kiara and Nana Pat.
Kiwi is wearing a pretty dress and walks up to me with a basket of chocolate lollipops Mommy has made in all different pastel colors. Gina gives me a bag with some baby clothes for Michelle. Kiwi hops up on my bed and is sitting on it with me full of smiles and laughter. For the first time since I have been there my heart is lighter. We are all talking for a few minutes about Michelle and Kiwi wants to see her but cannot.
Daddy takes out the video camera to show me how it works. As the camera comes on and Joe is panning the room, Kiwi notices the red light is on which means the camera is on. With big brown eyes she looks into the camera as everyone is talking around her.
Mommy asks Kiara to say hello to her new cousin, Michelle and wave to the camera.
Kiwi looks at her Daddy smiles this huge face lighting smile, her eyes aglow as she looks at him and shouts out "HI DADDY HONEY" and flings herself back on my bed whipping her legs up in the air as if she is going to do a backward roll.
Well....the only sound you hear next is the heart wrenching laughter from everyone in the room. Joe continues to video tape Kiara as she repeatedly waves at him and just says "HI DADDY HONEY" then rolls back giddy with laughter on my bed.
Every time we watch this video all of us still crack up, it is the funniest beginning to the birth of Michelle. The best part about it was that it didn't matter if you had a new cousin, if you were sitting in a hospital room, it wouldn't of mattered where you were, you could have been anywhere but the only thing you thought about when the camera came on was your Daddy.
To me Kiara in those few minutes you took away every worry, every thing that was on my mind and gave me sanity in a world I was so unsure and afraid of at the moment. You were so little and didn't even have a clue what those simple words "HI DADDY HONEY" would change how I looked at things with Michelle from that day on. I wanted her to be the child one day looking at me and saying "HI MOMMY". You were a part of my strength each day that I traveled back and forth.
So Kiwi when you get the chance and you are ready for it I will show you this video.
Until then when you look at a picture of your Dad remember those words, I will wait for the one day your eyes will light up with laughter and you will be able to look at him and just yell: "HI DADDY HONEY".
3 comments:
Unfortunately we will never understand why someone is chosen to leave our sides physically and enter a place we don't understand. The unknown or something we haven't experienced is the hardest thing to try and comprehend. He didn't leave you and never will. He is a part of all of you, each and every day you will find something that will show you he is still here.
Little things you do, something that you come across, words that you hear, they will all let you know he will always be there for you. Just like when you hear that song, he sang it to you all the time now the meaning has changed but it is still your song from him he's just letting you know he didn't leave you.
He was a lover not a fighter. He was a man filled with passion and his passion and love were all of you, never would I doubt that statement. Joe was a man that lived for his family.
I was going to write about a fishing trip we took with Daddy and I started to but for some reason another memory kept interupting my thoughts so for whatever reason it wants to be known that shall be the one I write here now.
It is Septemeber 7, 1991 the day after I gave birth to Michelle. I had spoken to Mommy and you were going to come up and bring a video camera so I could video tape Michelle.
I am in my hospital room I am scared because Mich was born so early a million things going through my mind. I want to be home with her, yet there is no way for her to leave the hospital. I don't want to go home because I don't want to be far from her. I am confused, lonely, and afraid.
I hear a voice down the hallway and there is no mistake it is Kiwi and I smile for the first time since I was brought into Stony Brook. Seconds later entering my room is Gina, Joe, Kiara and Nana Pat.
Kiwi is wearing a pretty dress and walks up to me with a basket of chocolate lollipops Mommy has made in all different pastel colors. Gina gives me a bag with some baby clothes for Michelle. Kiwi hops up on my bed and is sitting on it with me full of smiles and laughter. For the first time since I have been there my heart is lighter. We are all talking for a few minutes about Michelle and Kiwi wants to see her but cannot.
Daddy takes out the video camera to show me how it works. As the camera comes on and Joe is panning the room, Kiwi notices the red light is on which means the camera is on. With big brown eyes she looks into the camera as everyone is talking around her.
Mommy asks Kiara to say hello to her new cousin, Michelle and wave to the camera.
Kiwi looks at her Daddy smiles this huge face lighting smile, her eyes aglow as she looks at him and shouts out "HI DADDY HONEY" and flings herself back on my bed whipping her legs up in the air as if she is going to do a backward roll.
Well....the only sound you hear next is the heart wrenching laughter from everyone in the room. Joe continues to video tape Kiara as she repeatedly waves at him and just says "HI DADDY HONEY" then rolls back giddy with laughter on my bed.
Every time we watch this video all of us still crack up, it is the funniest beginning to the birth of Michelle. The best part about it was that it didn't matter if you had a new cousin, if you were sitting in a hospital room, it wouldn't of mattered where you were, you could have been anywhere but the only thing you thought about when the camera came on was your Daddy.
To me Kiara in those few minutes you took away every worry, every thing that was on my mind and gave me sanity in a world I was so unsure and afraid of at the moment. You were so little and didn't even have a clue what those simple words "HI DADDY HONEY" would change how I looked at things with Michelle from that day on. I wanted her to be the child one day looking at me and saying "HI MOMMY". You were a part of my strength each day that I traveled back and forth.
So Kiwi when you get the chance and you are ready for it I will show you this video.
Until then when you look at a picture of your Dad remember those words, I will wait for the one day your eyes will light up with laughter and you will be able to look at him and just yell: "HI DADDY HONEY".
This made me laugh & cry at the same time* Thank you for sharing that. I can't wait to watch the video. xoxo~Gina
Post a Comment